Where Do I begin ?

My soul, my heart, my strengh, my failure, my weakness, my burdens...?
What ever...,
I will begin.

...I wished...

I have been there today, he was old and very polite.
He was observing me...but he could not stand the way I staring at me straight in the eyes.
He asked some questions, I did answer.
I was about to cry first, then I was about to laugh...

I had to make a choice :
1. To speak up my soul
I knew exactly what I had to say to be free,
I know exactly what is wrong with me...
But I was not able to speak.
I was frozen, I couldn't talk.

2. To play the divine Comedy
I also knew how to manipulate him,
what to say to make him think what I wanted him to think.
I said things that made him think that he was more clever than me,
that he was handling the situation,
that I was a poor lost little girl that intellectualize too much

I naturally choose the second option...

He told me to call him in order to set a new appointment,
I told him: "Of course, I will call you",
I didn't mean it.
I think that I don't need him,
that he is so bad that he was not able to see through me,
inside of me, beyond this good and evil...

Tomorrow, I'll leave from here for a while,
I would breath.
I'll take the plane & shave...